I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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