i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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