why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
