he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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