she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
