A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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