So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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