I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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