my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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