Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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