I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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