Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I am available for nakedness
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
