Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
