i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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