Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
