he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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