i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So much rum. So many feels.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Randomize
