Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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