He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
