these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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