yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize