Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
