I wish my penis had an off switch
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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