do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
