Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I think your dad took our porno
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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