have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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