If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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