please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
