My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Someone shattered a urinal.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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