dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize