Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
