party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
