Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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