I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
You are the jesus of drinking
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
