UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
