we have officially lost it.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
that is very illegal...i love you.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize