Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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