I want to make a zoo with you.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
