Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
