Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
