my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I need to calm my uterus...
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
