i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
