I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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