I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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