listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
