im gay
i know
yea but for you.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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