My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize