You work out of a Hotel?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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