Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Randomize
