Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
