I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
