should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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