kristin has been a bad kristin
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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