My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
