I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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