Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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