I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize