i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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