Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
