Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
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