so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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