WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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