i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize