What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize