I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
