the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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