It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
