singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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