She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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