Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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